Do we have different personalities, when faced with different people?
It is important to be yourself, for this creates your unique footprint or signature style that others get to read.
The Japanese say that we have ‘three faces - (or different personalities)
1. The one we show the world. 2. The one we show to friends & family 3. The one we never show anyone.
The Japanese also say it is this third face - the one usually ‘ hidden from view’ - that is the true reflection of our self - the mirror of our soul, that all others are the mask. Whether there is evidence of this, is something psychologists still argue & ponder today.
Is it a mask to ‘paint a smile on our face’ when there is a given expectation to respect & uphold the socially correct & culturally expected behaviour that we have come to know as our ‘norm’?
Is it a ‘mask’ in the face of adversity to pretend a sense of bravery? For isn't fear ‘ as deep as the mind will only allow’?
Is it through these first two masks that we learn the necessary life skills that teach us how to position ourselves on the game board? Do our personalities become nothing more than those chequered black & white squares, that see some use & others be used, a battle of wits - to outplay, outsmart in a chance to survive? Or to win at all costs, is this the strategy in life one must use to strive for our best?
Yet, if these same interactions of work/social environments, people, places create a different reaction in what should be a the privacy of our home - I.e: exasperation & frustration, anger & jealousy, competitiveness, arrogance, hurt & pain, sadness & confusion, animosity & hate - aren't we all then a case of being just a little ‘two-faced’?
Have you ever watched the people who like to loudly protest how they dont like ‘fake’ people, it is usually them that are living under a false pretense. Watch their frustration, how it plays out in the way they have to meddle in other people's lives, these same bullies - were once bullied too, but rather than learn the lessons of what not to do, they carry forward the same dysfunction that then reeks havoc in other people's lives. You’ll recognise them, by the type of energy they leave behind! Or the temper tantrums they display.
Perhaps what makes us imperfect, slightly dysfunctional & at times all inhuman, is the ‘'Tri-polarization’ captured by all three, that we all encompass, that can at times due to external forces, be very visibly seen - even teetering on the edge of showing how this could be quite a disturbing state of mind.
For some, the pressure to perform sees a correlation to that of circus animals, a day’s excursion in the ‘who’s who of the zoo’, the exhaustion on the face clearly shown, yet somehow they have become caught up in the act being produced by others.
The third face for which the Japanese say, we do not reveal, is as the thought says our true reflection; our real & unique personality. Born from our soul, this then becomes the trademark of our distinction; the originality of face.
Yet, in a way each and every thought and act that comes from this face speaks out, it leaves identifying marks through the actions we take, & what we do.
This face, the one that stays slightly hidden from everyone, calls explicitly to who we are, describe it as you will: ignorance, gullibility, stupidity, but life is not a game from which behind the mask you wear, Real life is a journey, the great expectation we all have to want to belong, to find a place & experience the limitless possibilities that we all have a right to share.
A good life shows itself in how you choose to assist & exist. That’s your personality, how it is & will be remembered by friends & family as your trademark.
Those masks are very necessary at times, when dealing with challenging people or situations, so own them, for it is all those personalities that will work in your defence & for which just add to the colour & beauty of your life. ‘Getting lost, is the only place worth going…. If you want to find yourself. Tiziano Scarpa.